It's a really funny thing that the more we like someone the harder it is to ask them out. Maybe there is someone you would like to ask out but don't know how.
It might be that you have come out of a long term relationship and are struggling to get dating again or maybe it is something that you've never been very good at.
My best friend and MKFM Radio co-presenter Andy Hollinshead has spent much of his life working in nightclubs and discos and has made some very interesting observations.
Andy strongly believes that the more beautiful a woman is the less likely she is to get asked out on a date by men. I found that really starnge, but the more I thought about it the more it makes sense. This is the result of the little negative chatterbox inside a mans head saying, "she is so pretty, but what would she see in me?". It is a lack of self confidence.
Andy's theory is further backed up by the fact that one of his freinds got chatting to a very pretty woman and asked her out. It turned out that she was in fact a Page Three Girl...and her friends told him that she never got asked out on dates by men! It is something we now refer to jokingly as "Tamsin's Law".
Now this is where "Tamsin's Law" gets really interesting...If you accept all the facts about dating above about how beautiful women get asked out less it naturally follows that the more beautiful a woman is the more likely she is to accept your offer of a date because beautiful woman get asked out on less dates.
Success for men when it comes to dating (at least in the initial stage) is all about having the self confidence to ask a lady out in an appropriate manner. Which contary to popular belief shouldn't include a "chat up line". Gentlemen - It's no longer 1970 so please stop saying anything like this...
- Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
- Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns!
- I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
When it comes to dating prowess women can be equally guilty. Here we are in the 21st century and many womens idea of how to go about dating is applying lipstick, making themselves look pretty and waiting for a man to ask them out.
It's not even a generational thing. We spoke to a number of young men who have never been asked out on a date by a woman. There is something a little bit wrong there.
Women should not be afraid of asking a man out. Again, this dating problem is down to self confidence and at the very least ladies should feel able to drop a very strong hint that there is a film that they would like to see but all their friends are busy...
The problem for women with succesful dating is slightly more complicated though. Self confidence is a massive thing and it is more about having the confidence to not so much take control of a relationship but to help steer it so that you are an equal partner as it progresses..
There is something really nice when a man buys you flowers and chocolates BUT you probably don't want to be seen as the little woman. Gently managing the way you wish to be treated - AS AN EQUAL - from the very beginning requires an amount of self confidence and may need to be done gently and skillfully.
You deserve to be in a realationship that makes you happy and as a professional NLP Specialist and Clinical Hypnotherapist I can help you dramitically increase your self confidence to new levels you never thought possible*. I can do this either in person or anywhere in the world via Skype. Please contact me today via the phone numbers on this page or via the contact form on this website.
*Results may vary from person to person.